Indentured to the Necromancer at the age of twelve,
I washed a lot of clothes back then but didn't raise much hell,
Slacking off would earn a beating back-chat always got you hit,
I cleaned a lot of toilets and I took a lot of sh**,
But I watched the Necromancer raising bodies from their graves,
Enchanting them with incantations, making them his slaves,
"Thats pretty cool", I thought, "I gotta get me some of that!!",
As I scrubbed the kitchen floor and shook the dust out of the mat.
Assistant to the Necromancer when I turned eighteen,
It's probably the happiest that I have ever been,
I laboured day and night to learn the secrets of the art,
Scouring all the Grimoires for the Magick they'd impart,
I kissed the Necromancer's daughter underneath the stairs,
He disapproved so we made sure that he was unaware,
I assisted him in rituals and I rolled his cigarettes,
I procured his whores and alcohol and paid his gambling debts.
Then I became the Necromancer aged just twenty-five,
Promoted when my predecessor ceased to be alive,
The power was one reason that I chose to take his life,
The other was his daughter who I wanted for my wife,
As the Necromancer I was feared throughout the land,
And the old man couldn't stop me taking little Martha's hand,
Occasionally I brought him back to see his former world,
But he always looked upset to see me sleeping with his girl.
Enslaved now by the Necromancer time has little worth,
I think it may be sixty-six years since my date of birth,
I never saw it coming till it hit me in the back,
She pushed the knife into me and then everything went black,
Then the brand new Necromancer summoned me back from the dead,
"It wasn't hard disposing of the pair of you" she said,
I'm being sent back to my grave now so I'll close my sorry tale,
Which just goes to show the female is much deadlier than the male.
I washed a lot of clothes back then but didn't raise much hell,
Slacking off would earn a beating back-chat always got you hit,
I cleaned a lot of toilets and I took a lot of sh**,
But I watched the Necromancer raising bodies from their graves,
Enchanting them with incantations, making them his slaves,
"Thats pretty cool", I thought, "I gotta get me some of that!!",
As I scrubbed the kitchen floor and shook the dust out of the mat.
Assistant to the Necromancer when I turned eighteen,
It's probably the happiest that I have ever been,
I laboured day and night to learn the secrets of the art,
Scouring all the Grimoires for the Magick they'd impart,
I kissed the Necromancer's daughter underneath the stairs,
He disapproved so we made sure that he was unaware,
I assisted him in rituals and I rolled his cigarettes,
I procured his whores and alcohol and paid his gambling debts.
Then I became the Necromancer aged just twenty-five,
Promoted when my predecessor ceased to be alive,
The power was one reason that I chose to take his life,
The other was his daughter who I wanted for my wife,
As the Necromancer I was feared throughout the land,
And the old man couldn't stop me taking little Martha's hand,
Occasionally I brought him back to see his former world,
But he always looked upset to see me sleeping with his girl.
Enslaved now by the Necromancer time has little worth,
I think it may be sixty-six years since my date of birth,
I never saw it coming till it hit me in the back,
She pushed the knife into me and then everything went black,
Then the brand new Necromancer summoned me back from the dead,
"It wasn't hard disposing of the pair of you" she said,
I'm being sent back to my grave now so I'll close my sorry tale,
Which just goes to show the female is much deadlier than the male.